Fay Bloor, Wathall’s bereavement support coordinator and a trained counsellor, provides one-to-one sessions in Derby and helps run Dandelions Bereavement Support — a free service designed to give people a safe space to talk, reflect, and feel less alone during difficult times of year.
Fay says many people experience what she calls “Christmas Dread”, whether their loss is recent or happened years ago.
“Christmas can be a particularly painful time,” she explained. “You might feel an enormous sadness and want to hibernate for the whole festive season. It may feel like you should be celebrating, but the thought of counting down to Christmas can be daunting.
“What I’d like to say is: be gentle with yourself. How you’re feeling after losing someone you love is completely normal.”
Through Dandelions, Fay and the team often speak with people who feel isolated with their memories — or who find social gatherings overwhelming, especially when there’s an empty chair at the table.
To help people manage days filled with grief triggers and bittersweet reminders, Fay has shared four tips:
- Communicate your needs
Let family and friends know how you’re feeling. It can remove the pressure and help others support you in the right way. - Make flexible plans
It’s hard to predict how you’ll feel on Christmas Day, so keeping plans adaptable can ease anxiety. For many people, the build-up is harder than the day itself. - Acknowledge your grief
Staying connected to the person you’ve lost can help. Lighting a candle, sharing memories, or speaking their name may ease guilt and bring comfort. - Ask for support
Talking to someone about how you feel can release some of the weight and make the day feel less overwhelming.
“At our Dandelions groups, we talk openly about grief and offer ongoing support,” Fay added. “These sessions were originally set up by our Managing Director, Helen Wathall MBE, and are now run by me alongside Sarah Legg, another local counsellor. Charlotte Wathall, sixth generation at Wathall’s, also supports one of the groups. The service has gone from strength to strength.”
Dandelions offers four free meetings each month, five grief support programmes each year, and one-to-one counselling with Fay or Sarah — available at Wathall’s Allestree office or online.
The groups are open to everyone, whether the bereavement was recent or many years ago, and whether or not Wathall’s arranged the funeral.
Helen Wathall MBE said: “If you’re struggling with grief this year, try to be kind to yourself. When someone you love dies, everything changes. You might not feel like celebrating at Christmas — and that’s completely understandable. We hope our counselling sessions and support groups help people through.”
Dandelions group times
Ashbourne Dandelions
First Wednesday of the month, 1.30pm–3pm
Century Hall, Station Road, Ashbourne
Derby Dandelions
Second and last Tuesday of each month, 1.30pm–3.30pm
St Peter’s Church, St Peter’s Street, Derby
Please note: there is no meeting on December 30.
Evening Dandelions (Derby)
First Tuesday of the month, 6pm–8pm
Derby Rugby Club, Haslam’s Lane, Derby
For more information about Wathall’s bereavement support services, contact Fay Bloor at fay.bloor@wathalls.co.uk.