Helen Wathall MBE, managing director of Wathall’s, says funerals play an important role in helping people process loss, celebrate a loved one’s life and begin their grief journey.
Her comments come during Dying Matters Week, which runs from May 4 to 10. This year’s campaign, Let’s Talk About Death and Dying, encourages people to have honest conversations about death, grief and planning ahead.
Helen said:
“Despite the growing popularity of lower-cost options like direct cremations, I know that funerals have a powerful role to play in helping people with their personal grief journey.
“An online cremation with no funeral service or mourners in attendance can carry unintended emotional consequences and leave people with unresolved grief and a lingering sense that something was missing.”
A report by the National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) surveyed 1,000 people and highlighted the importance of having a “proper goodbye”.
The findings revealed that almost a fifth of people, 18%, regretted choosing an online cremation, while 15% said they did not feel the process was handled with care.
For some families, the emotional impact was long-lasting. One in five people, 20%, said the experience left them or others with unresolved grief, emotional gaps or a lingering sense that something was missing.
The report also found that 21% of people have since told their own families they do not want an online direct cremation when they die.
The same number said they regret not discussing their loved one’s funeral wishes while they were still alive.
Helen said:
“We need to change the narrative that booking a funeral from a TV ad is always the right thing to do. Sometimes, and more often than not, people need to talk to an experienced funeral director.
“A funeral can start the grieving process and we know that a direct funeral can sometimes leave people with unresolved grief, emotional gaps and a sense that something was missing.
“From this report, we now know that almost a third of people are more likely to process grief after attending an in-person funeral. This really does highlight the importance of talking to us before making decisions, ensuring families understand their options and the emotional impact of each choice.”
Wathall’s is advising families to discuss funeral wishes early, rather than waiting until a time of grief or crisis.
The Derby-based funeral directors says having these conversations can help families understand what their loved one would have wanted, while also reducing uncertainty for those left behind.
Helen added:
“It is so important to give your loved one a proper goodbye. A funeral isn’t just about loss, it is also about remembering them, connecting and the start of your healing journey.
“If you do one thing this week, during Dying Matters Week, it is open up a conversation and talk. Have that awkward chat with your loved one and I guarantee that you will feel better for it.
“So many people regret not discussing their loved one’s funeral wishes while they were alive.
“Obviously, at Wathall’s we are always here to help and support and will guide families through the process - but get talking now and start some end-of-life planning.”
More information about Dying Matters Week can be found on the Hospice UK website.